


Misery Loves Company

by Buffyworldbuilder



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buffyworldbuilder/pseuds/Buffyworldbuilder
Summary: This is a one-shot that centers a bit around the events of Deadpool 2. A heartbroken Deadpool has an encounter with a one-eyed man at a diner. This encounter sets Wade Wilson on a new course.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Misery Loves Company

**When I watched** _**Deadpool 2** _ **, I just had to write a scene with Xander and Deadpool. This contains DEFINITE spoilers about the movie, so I wouldn't read it if you hate spoilers.**

**This would occur a few years after season 7 of BTVS.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS or Deadpool or any of the related characters. This story has strong language that I normally NEVER use, but I thought it was appropriate since it's a Deadpool story.**

Misery Loves Company

Wade Wilson, known to some as Deadpool, dragged his miserable, smelly hide home. What kind of friend was Weasel to run him out of the bar? Sure, he'd been drinking non-stop for three days, but it was the only thing he had left. Vanessa was dead, and it was his fault. Killing people for money was dangerous work, and he should've done more to keep Vanessa safe. Hell, everyone at Weasel's bar knew who he was and what he did. They knew how much Vanessa meant to him. Unlike some masked heroes, he didn't really have a secret identity. Wolverine didn't either, so why should he?

Now, though, he wished that he hadn't been such a loudmouth. He did drag himself home and fall into bed. Eventually, daylight protruded on the dream he was having of Vanessa. It wasn't a bad thing, however, since every time he closed his eyes, he saw her smile. Then he saw her die. If only he hadn't been so quick to dodge the bullet, it would've hit him and not her. Then she'd still be here since a bullet wouldn't have hurt him at all.

How could he have been so stupid, so selfish?

"What the hell is that smell?" he said as he sat up in bed. He sniffed and realized he was smelling himself.

"Damn," he mumbled. He went to his shower and got in, not really caring as much as wanting to get rid of the stink. Habit had him grabbing his normal body wash and spread it all over. Then he saw her shampoo and opened it up. He sniffed it and smelled her—it was like she was there with him. Closing his eyes, he imagined having her there with him. More than once, she'd surprised him by joining him in the shower. He'd wash her long, luxurious locks, and then she'd get down on her knees and give him a nice morning blow job.

"God, I loved her," he said. She was the perfect woman—so much better than he ever deserved. She loved him through cancer. Then she loved him through his horrible burn scars. They might've been a real-life example of Beauty and the Beast, but she was no proper princess. It had been her beauty he noticed first, but it was her filthy mouth that hooked him.

She was his perfect match in every way—not even minding his new job as a masked anti-hero. He loved killing sex slavers and pedophiles almost as much as he loved annoying Colossus.

After he had a shower, hunger drove him out of his house and to a nearby diner. He sat at the counter and ordered a coffee, ignoring the looks of pity people gave him at his appearance.

"Don't you just hate those looks," a voice said.

He looked up and saw a guy with an eye patch. The man smiled at him.

"What?" Wade asked, not really following the man's words.

"I said don't you hate those looks?" the man repeated.

"What looks?" Wade asked as he picked up his coffee.

"Pity," the man said with an easy smile.

Wade shrugged, not caring. "I don't give a fuck," he said.

"I don't anymore either," the man said. "But it used to piss me off."

"A lot of things piss me off," Wade admitted. He told the server what he wanted.

"I used to be like that," the man said. "I was the world's butt-monkey. The Zeppo. The one most likely to screw things up."

"Sounds like we might've been separated at birth," Wade said. "Except I was the hotter and smarter brother."

The man laughed, not offended. "I'm Xander," the man said, holding out his hand to Wade.

Wade couldn't remember the last time anyone had ever offered to shake his hand, so he took the man's hand in his and shook it. "Wade Wilson," he said.

"Good to meet you," Xander said. "It's nice to see a guy not care what people think. It took me a long time to become indifferent."

"I only ever cared what one person thought about me, and she's dead," Wade said grimly. His food arrived, and he began shoveling it in.

"Yea," Xander said. "The woman I last loved died, too. It sucks."

"Mine died from a bullet meant for me," Wade said.

"Mine died taking a blow meant for a total dweeb," Xander said.

Wade glared, hating to lose. "I used to be pretty," he said.

"I used to have two eyes," Xander said with a smirk.

"I had cancer," Wade said.

"My entire town fell into a giant sinkhole," Xander replied.

"Sunnydale?" Wade asked.

Xander nodded. "Yep," he said.

"I volunteered for experimental cancer treatments only to find out it was a lie," Wade shared. "It was a ruse to activate a mutant gene. They burned my cells by depriving me of oxygen—a total torture fest."

"That's why you're all burned up?" Xander asked, grimacing. "That sucks."

"Yea. Most painful day of my life until four days ago," he said glumly.

"I'm sorry, man," Xander said. "I know it might not see like it right now, but things will get better."

"They can't get any worse," Wade mumbled.

Xander lifted up his eyepatch, revealing his scars and empty eye-socket. "I had my eye gauged out by an insane priest, who was trying to murder my best friend," he shared.

Wade made a gagging noise. "Dude, I'm trying to eat!" he said.

Xander grinned, putting the patch back. "Does that mean I win?" he asked.

"I didn't realize it was a competition," Wade said, lying.

"Hey, misery loves company, right?" Xander asked.

"So they say," Wade said. He ate his breakfast, not speaking anymore.

Xander let him finish his breakfast in peace. Then he asked, "So, Wade, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a trained assassin with mutant powers," Wade said easily. "I can't be killed."

"That sounds exciting," Xander said. "What do you assassinate?"

"Oh, you know. Dirtbags, murderers, slave traders—I may be a killer, but I have a soul, you know—standards," Wade said with a smirk. "What about you?"

"I kill soulless demons. The occasional vampire or two," Xander said with a wink, let the guy think he was joking. "I also train slayers to kill them."

"Cool," Wade said, smiling for the first time. "Call me if you need a killer that can't be killed to kill one of those soulless demons." He reached in his jeans and handed Xander his card.

Xander read it and grinned. "Deadpool?"

"That's my superhero name," Wade said proudly. "They had a pool going on when I'd be dead at my buddy's bar. I liked the name—it just fit. You know?"

"I guess," Xander said, giving him a puzzled look. Was this guy for real? He was hard to read, and Xander was known as the One Who Sees.

"Thanks for making me not want to find out if I could survive getting blown up or not," Wade said, throwing money on the counter for the server.

"Here's the thing," Xander said, feeling a need to reach out in case the man was for real. "No matter how bad things get, there's always someone out there that could use some help. Or there's demons that need killing."

Wade assumed his continuous use of demon was a metaphor and slapped on the shoulder before walking away. "I'll remember that," he said. Then he left the diner, alone with his grief once more.

***** _A Week Later*****_

Wade was feeling pretty good after Cable went back in time and saved his life. He even got Colossus to say the F word. Best of all, he'd died and seen Vanessa once more. One day, he would be with her again. Knowing that made life bearable again.

His apartment was blown up, so he was crashing at the X-Men mansion even though he knew very well he wasn't cut out to be an X-Men. Colossus was such a cute puppy, but Wade couldn't _not_ kill bad guys. Some men just needed to be put down.

His phone rang. "Who do you need me to kill?" he asked as he answered.

"Funny you should ask," the caller said.

"Who is this?" Wade asked.

"This is Xander. You gave me your card at breakfast last week," Xander said.

"You promised to call me in the morning and never did. I cried for days," Wade said with a dramatic sigh.

"I've always been a tease," Xander said, not missing a beat. "But I actually thought you could help me out with something. See, I run this small school for girls."

"Seriously? I'm at a school for mutants, and they're super lame," Wade said as Colossus frowned at him.

"Who are you talking to?" Colossus asked.

"My favorite whore," Wade said with a grin. "I was trying to find you a date."

He snickered at Colossus' expression.

"Wade?" Xander said.

"I'm here," he replied.

"I'd love to meet whoever you're ragging on sometime, but right now, I have a real problem that you might be able to help me with," Xander said.

"What is it?"

"Were you serious about being a mutant that can't be killed?" Xander asked.

"Pretty much. My body heals everything now. Cancer. Bullet wounds. I even grew back my hand once," he shared. "Recently, I survived a dismemberment and being ripped into two pieces."

Xander was silent as he took in those disturbing images. "Well, then my job should be a piece of cake," he said. He gave Wade an address to come to.

An hour later, Dopinder drove him to the address. "This place is almost as big as the X-Men's place," Dopinder said.

"I'll call you. Thanks," Wade said. He was dressed in his Deadpool suit.

When he walked to the door and rang the doorbell, a young girl answered it. "Hi," he said.

The girl's eyes widened, and she kicked him in the balls. "Intruder!" she yelled.

Wade was bent over, pain shooting in his groin. "I rang the damn bell!" he insisted.

"Zoe, who is it?" Xander asked as he came into the hall.

"Some freak with swords and a scary mask! It's not Halloween, Xander!" Zoe exclaimed.

"It's me!" Wade insisted.

"Wade?" Xander asked.

"Deadpool," he replied.

Xander grinned. "Wow! That's some look!" he said. "Zoe, this is not an intruder. This is the guy who's going to help us with our fire demon problem."

"Oh," Zoe said. "Sorry."

"Is that your sister?" Wade said as he straightened.

"No. One of the girls I train," he said.

"So you weren't kidding about teaching slayers?" Wade asked.

"No more than you were kidding about being a mutant, I hope," he said.

"I'm a real mutant. I tried being an X-Men-in-training, but then I killed two pedophiles abusing mutant kids, and Colossus let me get sent to the ice-box," Wade said.

"What's that?" Xander asked.

"Mutant prison," he replied. "I met the Juggernaut. That was pretty cool. Well, he did rip me in two, so maybe not so cool. You should never meet your heroes—it can be massively disappointing."

Xander couldn't see his face, so he didn't know how serious Wade was being. Before he could reply, one of the girls called out, "Xander, they're here."

"Show time," Xander said. "Okay, here's the run down. My slayers are kind of like mutants except it's not science but magic that gives them their powers. My best friend is a very powerful witch, who is constantly being challenged by every magic user around. Lately, they've been breaching our defenses here by sending these fire demons."

"Seriously? That's a thing?" Wade asked, impressed.

"Yep," Xander said. "Normally, Willow would take care of this, but she's in England dealing with an apocalypse. The New York house was supposed to be like my retirement. All the superheroes in the area was supposed to make this an easy job. We shut down the hellmouth in Cleveland just last year, and I wanted to take it easy. The new girls that are recently called are here, so they aren't very experienced yet. When they turn sixteen, they get sent to Buffy to do serious slaying. This nice easy job, however, is not so easy lately."

"Nothing is ever easy," Wade said, finding his new friend interesting. Of course, he wasn't really buying the hellmouth-magic bit, thinking it was another way to describe mutants.

He followed Xander out the back door. There were about a dozen young women armed with swords facing a very large creature that was on fire.

"Wow! You weren't kidding!" Wade exclaimed.

"Girls, stay back. Mr. Wilson is going to use his sword to kill it," Xander announced.

"Is it a magic sword?" Zoe asked.

"No," Wade said. He pulled out both of his swords and grinned. "I just have a gift."

Xander stood with the girls and watched as Wade charged the fire demon, dodging more than one fire ball. Then he jumped closer and the demon caught him on fire.

"Aaahh!" Wade screamed. "That hurts, mother fucker!" He jumped up and swung his sword at the creature's neck, hoping it would cut through. It did.

The creature's flames went out as it topped over, its head rolling.

Xander grinned as they watched a now mostly naked Wade face them, looking triumphant. "He's flame proof!" Xander told the girls, who cheered.

"That's so cool!" one of them said.

"My superhero costume is toast!" Wade complained. Half his face mask was burned off.

"We don't fight humans, so you don't need it here anyway," Xander said. "Thanks for your help."

"I'll send you my bill," Wade said as he took off the rest of his mask and grinned.

"Dude, your face is all burned up!" Zoe exclaimed in horror.

"Nah, that's his normal face," Xander said with a smirk.

The girls looked at Xander aghast. "Xander, that's not nice!" Tasha said.

Wade laughed, feeling good. First, he saved Russell, died, and saw Vanessa. Now he was fighting fire demons or mutants—he wasn't sure he believed Xander. Either way, he felt important again.

"Why don't you girls work on disposal while I get Wade some clothes?" Xander said.

The girls nodded and moved to do his bidding.

"So, you have your own harem? Cool," Wade said with a smug grin.

"Hardly," Xander said. "I corral super powered teenage girls. It's not sexy."

"I've had some experience with a moody super powered teenage girl, so I can sympathize," he said, thinking of Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

"How would you like a job?" Xander asked. "Nothing too serious. You could live here and help us out on occasion."

"I don't think I'm really suitable to be around children since I'm not exactly PG," Wade said with a snicker.

"Who is?" Xander said. "They fight demons in a supernatural battle. They can handle an R-rated anti-hero with delusions of grandeur."

"Hey, I'm not delusional! I am a total badass!" Wade protested. "You are, though, if you think demons are real."

"They are," Xander said. "You just beheaded one."

Wade smirked. "It was a mutant with fire powers," he replied. "Not impressed. I know one teenage boy who can do that."

"Well, then, living here and helping us out should make you feel right at home," Xander said, not going to argue with the truth that would be apparent soon enough.

"Xander!" Zoe called out. "Tell Trisha to not throw fucking demon heads at me!"

"Trisha, don't throw fucking demon heads at Zoe!" Xander called back.

Wade grinned. It definitely wasn't the X-Men mansion. Maybe, it could be fun.

For a while.

"Okay, Xander, I'll give this place a try!" he told him.

Xander slapped him on the back. "Great. I'll take you to the graveyard tonight and show you how to stake a vampire!" he said.

"Huh?" Wade asked. When Xander looked smug, he began to wonder if he agreed to move in too soon.

What the hell. He only lived once. Unless of course, you knew someone with technology from the future that could go back in time and change your future.

That, though, is a story for another day.

_ *****Two Weeks Later***** _

Xander grinned as he watched Wade, also known as Deadpool, make Andrew cry again.

"Xander, tell him to leave me alone!" Andrew wailed.

"No, I won't," Xander said. "You think you can annoy everyone with your endless questions. The man is grieving for the woman he loved. He's got major issues, and all he wants to do is be able to slaughter monsters in peace. He's not going to give you a report—move on."

Andrew pouted. "But Xander, Giles put me in charge of keeping the records straight. I can't go on to the next slayer house until you guys give me a better idea of the demons you put down," he said.

"Ask the slayers that were with him," Xander said. "You don't need his account to actually get the number, and you know it."

"Fine," Andrew said. "It's not accurate or the right way to do it, but I'll do it."

"I told your annoying piss ant if he asked me anymore dumb questions, I might forget the hero part of my anti title," Wade said as he stepped into the room. "I might punch him in the face or rip out his tongue."

Andrew whimpered. "Xander," he whined.

"He won't rip out your tongue," Xander said. "But he might punch you in the face, so leave him alone."

Andrew gave him a hangdog look but slunk off.

Wade grinned. "You know after two weeks, I thought I'd be ready to leave this place, but I'm kind of digging it," he said.

"Well, that's good," Xander said. "You're a good fit. Not only do I need a man around to counter all the estrogen, but the slayerettes find you funny." Of course, Xander didn't mention how great the man was with his swords and how all the slayers' training had really stepped up since he'd started working with them.

"I always thought I was funny," he said with a dreamy smile. "Vanessa laughed at my jokes, too, but the blind old lady I lived with never did. She said I was an ass. Negasonic one time smiled at me, but mostly she rolls her eyes."

In reality, Wade still couldn't believe the way things were going. The slayers—or mutant girls—thought he was like a pet demon. Most of them didn't really believe he was a mutant or that mutants were real. A slayer had brandied the theory that humans have been mating with demons and that was where mutants came from. For some reason, Xander never corrected them—he just laughed and smirked at Wade when he complained. The girls had rather believe in demons and magic than science and mutants. It was crazy, but he was never bored. Plus, they kept him too busy to spend every minute thinking of what he'd lost. The girls never ran out of energy, and one or four of them was always wanting to train. They were vastly different from the X-Men—a fact he was grateful for.

The craziest thing, though, was the title of vampire slayers the girls gave themselves. Or rather the fact that vampires were real. He actually thought Xander was pulling his leg until he took him patrolling at his first graveyard. Then he watched a man crawl out of his fucking grave—it was like a horror flick except he wasn't high nor was he watching TV. When the fourteen-year-old girl stabbed the man with a stick—a fucking piece of fucking wood—the guy really turned to dust. It was surreal.

He went a few days later to the X-Men mansion, excited to share his new adventure with his buddy.

"Colossus, I have found a new lease on life, and I just had to come tell you!" he said as he burst into the mansion.

"That is good news, my friend," Colossus said with a beaming smile. "Come and tell me all about it."

"So I found this slayer house and a one-eyed pirate named Xander," Wade said with a grin. "Xander is just a regular guy who fights demons and vampires with these superpowered girls. Can you believe vampires are real? Demons may or may not be real. I think they're just evil mutants really, but they took me vamp hunting. They really came out of the ground, and when they were stuck with a wooden stake, they turned to dust!"

"Why do you make up tall tales, my friend?" Colossus said, a disappointed look on his face.

"That's the thing, my virgin friend. I am _not_ making it up!" Wade said with a wide grin.

Of course, Colossus refused to believe him—Wade couldn't blame him. He didn't believe it until he saw the man clawing his way out of his own grave.

"Well, regardless, I found a new home," Wade told him. "Xander is a cool dude, who spends his days helping a wide range of girls with incredible talents to fight the forces of evil. They don't care if I say the f word and find me amusing."

"That is good you have made some new friends," Colossus said, smiling.

"Xander made me up some cards," Wade said, holding out a business card. "The school's address is on it. Come by some time."

Colossus looked at the card. "You are a fire specialist and trainer? What does that mean?" he asked.

"They had this fire mutant—or demon. It kept trying to set the girls on fire," Wade shared. "I managed to slay it—that's what they call killing—they're slayers, not killers."

"You cannot just kill misguided mutants," Colossus said in disapproval.

"Wolverine has killed multiple times in defense of the kids here," Wade reminded him. "I'm just supposed to let these kids die?"

"You are to call us," Colossus said.

"Sorry, my metal head—you don't deal in the supernatural. Nor could you handle this school of slayers," Wade said. "But come by sometimes, and I'll introduce you to them. They're not nefarious. Just girls with superpowers destined to fight the forces of evil."

"And you are training them?" Colossus asked, the doubt in his voice evident.

"I fight any fire demons that try to harm them as I am officially their fire specialist and help train them as Xander doesn't have superpowers of any kind—although he is amazingly longsuffering," Wade said. "He got his eye gauged out defending his best friend, the original slayer. But he still fights by her side. I need a friend like that."

"He sounds like a brave and loyal friend," Colossus said.

"He is," Wade said. "I hope you come by sometime and meet him."

Another week had passed, and he'd been too busy with Xander and the girls to think much about Colossus. It was good to be busy and not have time to dwell on how much he missed his love.

"Wade! There's a metal demon here to see you with some girl. He seems like a nice demon!" Tessa, one of the slayers called from the doorway.

"I am no demon," a baritone voice said.

Wade grinned and jumped up from his couch. He saw three slayers—Zoe was one of them—standing by the open door. "Well, at least Zoe didn't kick you in the balls as she did me the first time we met," he said.

"We wanted to come see how you were faring," Colossus said.

"He didn't believe you were telling him the truth," Negasonic said, eying the girls curiously.

"Who's the girl? Is she a new slayer?" Zoe asked.

"No, she's a mutant," Wade explained.

"She looks human," Zoe asked.

"She is," Wade said.

"What else would I be?" Negasonic asked.

"A demon," Zoe said.

"There is no such thing as demons," Colossus said.

"Of course, there is," Zoe said. She pointed out Wade. "Wade's one."

Negasonic snickered. "That would explain a lot," she said.

"Very funny," Wade said, frowning at her. "Why don't you respect their religion and just come in? I'll give you a tour." The slayers tensed at his open invitation but relaxed when the visitors still seemed benign.

They didn't get far in the tour when Xander appeared. "Hello," he said. "I heard we had some visitors."

"These are two of the X-Men," Wade said.

"X-Men?" Tessa asked. "Seriously? Why didn't you say so?"

"I said mutant. You said demon," Wade pointed out.

"The X-Men are special. I don't know what they are," Tessa said. "Storm's the coolest."

"That's not so," Zoe said. "Wolverine is."

"And I thought you were my favorite," Wade said, giving her a sigh of disappointment.

"Girls, why don't you go find something to do? The kitchen still hasn't been cleaned up," Xander said.

"It's Shantelle's turn," Zoe said.

"I did them two days ago," Tessa said.

"Well, go find her and tell her," Xander said.

"Can Negasonic come with us? I want to know what her superpowers are," Zoe said.

"I don't care. Why don't you ask her?" Xander said with much more patience than Wade would ever have.

The girls looked at Negasonic with a hopeful expression. She shrugged. "That's fine," she said, figuring she'd learn more with them than the adults anyway.

"So, Xander, Wade says you fight monsters?" Colossus asked.

"Yes. Not too many, though, due to you guys being in town. Most demons and vamps avoid this area. This was supposed to be my nice easy job," Xander said. "After we closed the hellmouth in Sunnydale, I spent two years collecting newly called slayers in Africa, building alliances and putting out fires. I'm good with the young ones as Faith tends to make them cry, and Buffy isn't known for her patience. Those under sixteen come here to learn and then go to Buffy at sixteen. But lately, word has gotten out that we're more vulnerable and that I'm loved by the Red Witch and both the original slayers. They want to hurt my girls by hurting me."

"Oh, Xander, Colossus knows nothing about anything you're talking about," Wade said with a grin. "In fact, he doesn't think you should kill any sentient beings."

Xander nodded. "I understand. He can't possibly comprehend the depth of evil that hides in the shadows," Xander said. He looked at Colossus. "Humans are always redeemable or at least there's a hope for that, so I get it. However, we don't concern ourselves with human crimes. That's your area or the cops. We focus on soulless vampires or demons."

"I have not encountered any of those," Colossus admitted.

"I figured," Xander said with a shrug. "Hang out here enough and you will."

He showed Colossus around, and the mutant was silent as he observed all the kids. They all seemed really fond of Wade, which was strange. However, he saw nothing sinister, so his worry for his friend began to wan.

Then Faith and Willow teleported in. Wade had his blades out in a second, ready to attack.

"Relax. That's Faith and Willow," Xander said. "What's up?"

"Is this your fire specialist?" Willow asked, looking at Wade.

"Yep, he's damn near indestructible," Xander said. "He can even grow back body parts."

"But you can't fix that ugly face, huh?" Faith asked, looking at him. "Damn. I'm sorry."

"Well, we can't all be—" Wade paused as he looked for some flaw in the gorgeous creature in front of him. "Sex kittens."

Faith smirked. "Damn right you can't," she said. "Who's the metal man?"

"This is Colossus, a friend of Wade's. He's an X-men," Xander said.

"Is he fireproof?" Willow asked.

When everyone looked at Colossus, he nodded. "For the most part. If the fire is sustained for a long time, rising about the temperature it takes to melt metal, I can be burned."

"We could use a hand," Willow said. "Wanna come fight with us?"

"Those damn fire demons have attacked the Cleveland house," Faith said. "They've killed two of my girls and hurt several others."

"Oh, no! Who died?" Xander asked, upset.

"Mary Lois and Esperanza," Faith said grimly. They were highly experienced slayers, and Xander felt a stab of pain. He'd known both girls.

"Well, let's go kill these mother fuckers," Wade said.

"Wade, your language!" Colossus said in disapproval.

Faith snickered while Willow beamed at him.

"We need to go," Willow said. She waited for Colossus.

"I will be glad to fight with you," he said, knowing it was the best way to determine what the group was really about as he could not trust Wade's word—the man exaggerated too much.

"I will tell your friend where you went," Xander said. "Be careful."

Wade scoffed and then Faith reached for his hand as Willow grabbed Colossus and held Faith's.

"Let's go," Faith said.

They winked out. Negasonic was eating dinner with Xander and the girls a few hours later when they reappeared without Willow. Colossus looked a bit frayed at the edges, and his eyes were a bit more wild than normal.

"Is everything okay?" Xander asked.

Wade grinned. "It was great! There was a whole slew of them to slaughter. The witch kept pouring the water on them while Colossus banged them in the face with his fists, and the girls stabbed them. I did get set on fire a few times, but I got my revenge!"

"Deadpool is a total bad ass," Faith said in approval. She looked at Colossus. "I think we broke your friend here."

"Are you alright?" Negasonic asked him.

He nodded. "I am okay. I do not understand what I witnessed and must speak with the Professor. They insist the girls are not mutant, but I am hoping Hank will be allowed to test one of them to be sure," he said.

"Hey, you fought with us, so your mutant doctor can take my blood," Faith said, pounding him on the back. "I gotta get back tomorrow, though, because we have funerals to plan." She needed a day to not have to face the pain and the guilt she felt every time she lost a girl in battle.

Wade grinned at Faith—he really liked the foul mouth girl as she reminded him a lot of Vanessa—sex on a stick with a foul mouth. His dick was dead as the skin on his outside, but it still brought him comfort to be around the dark slayer—he'd heard more than one tale about her in the two weeks he'd been with the slayers. The girls had not exaggerated.

"Let's go get drunk," Wade said.

"Sounds great!" Faith said. She looked at Xander.

"You know I can't," Xander said.

"We'll drink for you," Wade said. "Colossus, you look like you could use a drink or ten."

"I would like a drink, but I need to get Negasonic back to the mansion and speak with the Professor," he said, not sure his nerves could handle another hour with a slayer. The girls were too much like Wade—unpredictable and violent. He didn't know how to handle the things he'd seen and needed his leader to absolve him of the murders he helped commit.

Wade knew the struggle his friend was going through and didn't tease him too much. There was no way to pretend the fire demons were humans with mutant powers, and Colossus had to come to terms with it.

"Want us to swing by later and take you patrolling for vamps?" Faith asked. "I love popping a guy's cherry. You can slay your first vampire."

Colossus' metal cheeks turned slightly pink at her coarse words.

Wade laughed—he loved these slayers!

***** _The End*****_


End file.
